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|Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007|
|all filler, no killer
Let's talk about the Cutty Sark! Ooooh, isn't it terrible!
Well, I was actually more concerned about the new law which enabled MPs to get out of freedom of information act.No but the Cutty Sark! It's a little bit charred! The nation mourns!
Sure, but a senior police officer has said he fears the spread of CCTV cameras in the UK is leading to "an Orwellian situation" which we're sleep walking into. Have you seen the new photos of the Cutty Sark? They say it was an act of arson! Cutty SarkCutty SarkCutty SarkCutty Sark!
Aren't you worried about the news that council staff, charity workers and doctors could be required by law
to tip off police about anyone they believe could
commit a violent crime one day? What's next, thought crimes?Oh you wanna play hardball huh? HAVE YOU SEEN MADELEINE MCCANN?!
well, no, of course not seeing i'm in bristol and she was taken in Portugal... oh you heartless MONSTER! where's your yellow ribbon, look into her eyes, share the families pain!
...you're all fucking idiots. in other news, we're having our 82nd lunchtime vigil for Alan Johnston in the BBC carpark, in the hopes that the people who have him walk past...here, sign the petition
|Tuesday, March 27th, 2007|
|The great common sense swindle
So today's rant comes from this little gem:http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=42711&in_page_id=34
(sorry for linking to the Metro...I actually hate having to dodge all the Metro hander-outers on the way to work every morning, but it was either that or link the Daily Mail...fuck that)
So it's the story of just another money greedy shmuck refusing to take responsibility for her own (stupid) actions. I'd like to know how she can stand up in court in front of all those people and keep a straight face, cause I swear, if my lawyer started reading out the charges I'd just start laughing while mouthing "wankered mate" at my friends.
But no, not in today's climate, where we'll be damn if we have to admit that these things happen by accident (or by the fact said party was acting like a bit of a plumb).
I'd like to know what the landlord supposed to do exactly?
"Now Miss Mayers, here's window number 17...again, please don't climb out of it...and that's the cooker...please don't put your head in it when it's on...that's the bathtub, which can get slippy when wet so best not to put any water in it" etc, etc.
The solution to this case is actually pretty simple. The owner of the garage in question (it doesn't even belong to the landlord) should take Miss Mayers to court in a separate case, to the tune of trespassing, vandalism and breaking and entering.
|Monday, March 26th, 2007|
|propaganda...all over my face...
We interrupt Hatchelts absence to bring you today's lol:
General public (visit the BBCs "Have Your Say" for some examples):
"Iran cannot be trusted with nuclear technology, just look at what they've done to our sailors*! Now let's NUKE the utter SHIT out of the entire country to teach them a lesson!"
*I wonder what would happen to the crew of an Iranian boat if it appeared off Bristol?
|Wednesday, November 15th, 2006|
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/111506A.shtmlIt is obvious that Blair has been badly stung by his American partner's rejection at the polls, which makes his own fanatical devotion to Bush and the bloodsoaked folly in Iraq look even more absurd. His frenzied waving of the terror flag is, in part, Blair's panicked response to the political diminishment of the Washington regime that has been a mainstay of his own power.
|Sunday, November 12th, 2006|
|Thursday, November 9th, 2006|
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6131122.stmThe leading US news agency has called the final undecided Senate seat for the Democrats, which would give them control of the chamber.
Well well, what a night huh? The Democrats now control both houses and our good friend Rumsfeld's taken one for the home team.
Ok, so let's see what we've got. First off let's get into the Peak Oil/energy crisis side of things. While we might see a few more flimsy 'green' initiatives, (more land for biofuels, a few more hybrid cars) I don't think the Democrats are going to start shouting from the rooftops that we're in trouble. Realistically, they're going to want to take the Whitehouse in 2 years time, and telling people they're going to have to cut down on fuel consumption isn't exactly a winning ticket. Hell, no one wants to pull a Jimmy Carter
now do they? So I think we can expect to see more dumbed-down Al Gore climate change but not a lot of real action. (It's worth pointing out that even if we acted tomorrow on the coming oil/gas issues I still don't think we'd catch it in time.)
I think it's the same for the American economy and it's terrifying deficit. With housing about to bite the big one, fuel prices about to rise from their cheeky pre-election respite, the manufacturing sector feeling more than a little sleepy, China armed with it's exchange reserves of $1 trillion, the situation is not a comfortable one. A prolonged tax rise will help, but let's be honest, who wants to vote for that?
So Rumsfeld's gone. Well, out of the immediate public eye anyway. Knowing Rummy, he'll hop straight into some shady corporation and make even more money for himself at the expense of others. Who knows, maybe even Bird Flu will make a come back...better stock up on Tamiflu eh?
And who's his replacement? An old friend of the Bush family of course. Fuck mine, can Bush do anything without his daddies friends holding his hand?
Speaking of Bush, I think he's in for a very rough ride. Not from the public, time has shown he doesn't give a fuck about what that lot think, but more from his own party. I think things will get very uncomfortable indeed and look forward to 'inside' stories about Bushs friends thinking him incompetent etc. If you believe there's people behind Bush who actually run the show, then surely you can understand they must be pretty pissed at their front man. If Bush wasn't so much of a muppet, he'd probably see this himself.
The Democrats. What do I know about the Democrats? Fuck all actually, being a Brit with my own countries political problems. However, we can quite safely assume that the Democrats are going to have a whale of a time starting up inquiries from 9/11 to the Whitehouse food budget. Whether or not any of these will actually reveal anything of any actual importance remains to be seen, but even if it only answers a handful of questions on Iraq, 9/11, The War On Terror it'll be a step in the right direction.
The future? Arnie and Hilary Clinton to do battle for the Whitehouse. Whoa, get the popcorn out for that one!
|Monday, November 6th, 2006|
| http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6120560.stmA Muslim convert planned to detonate a dirty bomb and launch an attack on London's Tube, a court has heard
Dear Brother Barot,
Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!
Fear not brother Barot, I shall continue your plans in your honour, God willing.
I have made a few changes however. Instead of packing limousines with gas cylinders, I have decided upon stuffing house-hold cats and dogs with gas cylinders. Imagine the chaos dear brother! These Western Fools won't have a clue! Of course, I have no real idea how this will be done, but facts like that matter little these days. Which is why I also plan on somehow hijacking AirForce One and flying it into the Whitehouse for my piesta resistance! How glorious that will look as over in England cats and dogs start systemically exploding, oh the pandemonium! And more amazing news still! I was chatting to a fellow brother in the pub last night and he admitted being able to obtain our Atom Bomb! He kept calling me Tiffney and couldn't stand, but I was sure convinced! So I gave him 80 quid and am due to meet him in a few weeks...although, come to think of it, we never set an actual date. But that matters not, bring on the virgins right?!
I know funding was an issue for you brother, as you had none. But again I have come through for you. I shall be spending 5 pounds a week on Lotto scratch cards in order to acquire the funds for our operations. God willing, it will only be a matter of time. I did try getting the dole office to give me more. I explained I wanted to launch an attack to bring chaos to the enemies of Islam but the infidel behind the desk wasn't having any of it.
I have to go now friend, there seems to be a rather loud smashing sound coming from my front door.
|Sunday, November 5th, 2006|
|Democracy in the Banana republic.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6117910.stmFormer Iraqi President Saddam Hussein has been convicted of crimes against humanity by a Baghdad court and sentenced to death by hanging.
Saddam, as expected, sentenced to death just days before the American mid-terms. Now all we need is the usual Al-Qaeda pre-election warning/message (vote for Bush or we'll kill you), liberally sprinkled bent electronic voting machines and suddenly the predicted Republican loss doesn't seem so great.
|Monday, October 30th, 2006|
|Mid-term elections and the trial of a madman.
Dear readers of Hatchelts Rant, I hope I'm wrong, but I have a feeling we might be about to see the most blatant political farce in modern history, which, if happens, would make the worse fears of the Bush Administration come true.
Saddam Husseins trial is expected to reach a verdict on the 5th of November. A trial in which the death penalty is up for grabs.
Meanwhile, across the pond the Republicans are up shit creek, fuelled only by scandal and failure they could be inline to lose a lot of seats both in the Senate and the House of Representatives. And what date do the American public go to the polls? The 7th of November, two days after Saddams verdict.
Iraq's a hell-hole. I don't think anyone could logically argue against that. It's probably one of the most rancid places on earth right now and everyone knows it. The Republicans know it better then anyone in fact, as it's likely to cost them votes. However, what would happen to those votes should Saddam get the death penalty? Could enough spin be put on it to increase Republican votes? What if our friends in Al Qaeda gave yet another one of their pre-election messages which they're so fond of? What if the corpse of Osama bin Laden finally showed up?
If any of these events do happen, it'll be enough to prove once and for all that the American Government is nothing more than a dangerous fraud and that the events in Iraq are nothing more then manufactured bullshit to suit political gain.
|Wednesday, October 25th, 2006|
| http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6083020.stmMadonna says she is "disappointed" by media coverage of her bid to adopt a Malawian baby, saying it discourages other people from doing the same.
Yes, it's terrible. People shouldn't be discourage from watching tv documentaries on Malawian orphans and then deciding "I want that one!" before throwing large sums of cash about and breaking Malawi adoption laws. You're right Madonna, how disappointing it must be to not be able to do what you damn well please without people asking questions. Still, it's a good thing you addressed the issue properly by going on Oprah Winfrey's fucking chat show instead of flying out to Malawi and putting the matter straight yourself, you old slag you.
|Sunday, October 22nd, 2006|
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6072326.stmAttributed quotes such as "Kill the Americans" and "What is yet to come will be even greater" are flashed across the screen.
Gun-bearing militants in training camps are also shown, followed by the stark message: "These are the stakes. Vote November 7th."
This is all the Republicans have. And it is, it's blatantly desperate, hell, this ad alone should be a reason not
to vote for these scum. "Vote for us or the boogeyman will get you." Fucking pathetic. How's about running the country for the better of the people you're suppose to serve instead of lining your own pockets while fucking boys and shoveling snow?ter-ror-ism –noun 1. the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, esp. for political purposes.
2. the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism or terrorization.
3. a terroristic method of governing or of resisting a government.
|Friday, October 20th, 2006|
|Stop the ride, everyone's stupid.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6071666.stmChrysler has revealed plans to cut the price of every car it sells in the US by $1,000 (£531), as it aims to boost sales and turn itself around.
Hmmm, the last of the worlds easy oil is fast disappearing which'll result in untold and as yet unknown hardship, huh? Here's an idea! Let's not work on ways around this problem, but instead, lower the cost of our cars in the hopes people buy more! Yay, free sweets for everyone!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6070652.stmThe BBC is outsourcing some of its accounting and financing services to India in a move that will save it £20m a year for the next decade.
Now, I feel I have to comment hear, seeing as the BBC is close to my heart and bank account...
These jokers don't have a fucking clue. Not an ounce. They're selling off everything that isn't nailed down, regardless of the long-term effects (my IT job being a classic example. BBC sold off its Technology branch to Siemens for X-amount. Joke is, Siemens are charging the BBC for pretty much everything, meaning all the money that the BBC made from the sale will go right back to Siemens in a matter of years. Well done.) And don't even get me started on the shitty loo roll we now have to use. Jesus fucking Christ, it doesn't even have the perforation that separates the sheets, I've used better bog paper in Bangkok.
And what's all this for? So some twat can spend 1 million quid on a 5 second clip of Hippos swimming around the BBC logo in between programs. Again, well done lads, way to send the pioneer of television down the shitter.
|How not to heat a nation.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6071644.stmPrime Minister Tony Blair has called on Russia to play by the rules with Europe over the trade of oil and gas supplies.
LOL, actually Tony, I think they'll do whatever the fuck they want. It's not as if we can go anywhere else for the stuff so I suggest you bend over and get used to it. The future's bright!
|Thursday, October 19th, 2006|
I woke up this morning feeling a little odd. I moved all my limbs felt all over my head and body, but there was no pain and no aches, no bruses, no cuts. I got up and went into the bathroom to look in the mirror. Again, nothing wrong, nothing out of place, but still this feeling of something not quite right, maybe something missing. I began checking the house; wallet, keys, ipod, it was all there. I checked the time and date, looking through my scraps of paper to see if I was due for some appointment. Again, nothing wrong. I sat down by my pc. This was very odd indeed, just what was wrong? I checked my e-mail and livejournal, but they gave no clues. Confused, I slumped down on my couch and switched on my tv:http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6065460.stmAl-Qaeda has become more organised and sophisticated and has made Britain its top target, counter-terrorism officials have told the BBC.
Security sources say the situation has never been so grim, said BBC home affairs correspondent Margaret Gilmore.
Ah! There it was! I was just missing my daily TERROR
fix that's all! Finally, I felt complete and went about my business as normal, safe in the knowledge that my government and media outlets will never stop trying to scare the shit out of me with total and utter bullshit.
This isn't like 1984. We're about 2 years behind.
|Tuesday, October 17th, 2006|
|But I did all I could!
So yesterday afternoon/evening, the UK was given the following:http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/6045672.stmA 15-year-old boy has been given a life sentence for murdering a boy, whose body was dumped in a park.
It's a particularly grim story which has no doubt shocked the country. However, the press seem to be missing out on one of the most shocking details of all:http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/6040586.stmHamer, then 14, gave Joe a letter purportedly written by the deputy head, instructing him to go to Hamer's home to collect some books.
Confused, Joe showed the letter to a teacher, who, after later spotting the youngster in a corridor with his killer, realised it was in fact written by Hamer.
"The teacher said to Joe in no uncertain terms to go straight home after school."
Despite this utter lack for child safety the head teacher of the school in question goes onto say:Eddie Robinson, head teacher of St Gabriel's Roman Catholic School in Bury, where Joe and his killer were pupils, said the school did all it could to ensure the care and safety of all its pupils.
Complete and utter rubbish. If I was a teacher and this kid showed me a forged letter telling him to go to another pupils house I'd haul both Joe and Hammer into the deputy head office to find out just what the fuck's going on (as after all, isn't forging a letter from the deputy head quite a serious offence?). But oh no, don't worry about it mate, just go straight home yeh?
And that's the school doing all it can to ensure care and safety? Well fucking fantastic, we'll all sleep well tonight.
|The daily dose of Government bullshit.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6057562.stmA Home Office minister has suggested the government might seek to strengthen control orders after it emerged two terror suspects had gone on the run.
Oh how convenient. This story reeks of bullshit just like every other TERROR abortion our backward government tries to feed us. Bring back Guy Fawkes, we need to burn Parliament to the fucking ground*.
*please note, I have no intention of committing a terrorist act.
|Sunday, October 15th, 2006|